Back to Sikhi – Bhai Manvir Singh, UK

Muslims in my Art class would say that I am a Hindu. However I would say I am a Sikh but not religious, that’s why I have my hair cut. They would say it is in your religion to drink alcohol because most Sikhs do, and they would sing Gurdaas Maan’s song: ‘APNA PANJAB HOVAI, GHAR DI SHARAAB HOVAI’, saying that Sikhs drink alcohol and are known to be drinkers. I would say “NO! Those Sikhs who drink alcohol are not religious.” That gave Sikhs a good image or what? It made Sikhs look like fools, cowards and ungrateful; something which we aren’t, nor have been, nor will be. Where is the image of Sikhs as saint soldiers who are honourable, proud and respectful to their Guru? Who was to blame for their misunderstanding of Sikhs? It is us, the Sikhs, who have made people think of ourselves like this.

Finishing year 10 at Secondary School, I went to India in the summer holidays. Before I went, my brother and my dad said that I should have a haircut, but I didn’t want to because I wanted to keep my Kesh in the back of my mind. I couldn’t tell them straight up that I wanted to keep Kesh. I knew they would mock me and make me sound like I was being unrealistic. I say, ‘IF YOU WANT SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO MAKE A START’. But everyone thought it was one big joke and that I was just being a nuisance. I went to India and was offered a haircut but I said no, not giving a reason. The reason I refused was because I FELT GUILTY TO HAVE MY HAIR CUT ON THE LAND OF THE GURUS AND OF THE MARTYRS WHO SACRIFICED THEIR FAMILIES AND LIVES FOR SIKHI. How could I sit in the barber’s shop and have a barber’s scissors cut my hair, when our Gurus and shaheeds spilt their blood for us. I should have the Guru’s hand on my head only, not the barber’s hand.

Coming back home to England, I thought what should I do. I couldn’t imagine the gore at school appreciating Sikhi. Because of lack of encouragement and self-confidence I cut my hair (for the last time). From that time on I didn’t cut my hair. It was weird, on several occasions I got out of going to the barbers by making up excuses. At this time the barber was a Muslim man, which was even more humiliating for me, that as a Sikh I was sacrificing my Guru’s identity with the scissors of a Muslim barber. Once I made an excuse to delay having a hair cut. I was wearing a T-Shirt, which said ‘Proud to be Sikh’ and had a Khanda on it. My dad and brother said have a haircut today. They kept on persisting (most likely because my hair was looking long and unmanageable). I told them that how insulting or disrespectful it is to wear a T-Shirt with a Khanda on it, and then going to have a haircut. My dad just got annoyed with the excuses. I tried to avoid the subject of going to the barber for long as I could. But my lack of confidence and the lack of support resulted in me getting my hair cut. 

During the christmas holidays I started wearing an orange ‘saafa’ (casual style turban) and kept my Kesh. On purpose I started off by tying a ‘saafa’, wanting to keep the idea of me keeping kesh subtle. I now wasn’t going to turn back! My dad got annoyed why I had a saafa wrapped around my head and said either take it off or tie a proper pagh.